Student Summaries from Summary #1

Here are two student summaries of the article "Fat for your Brain". To be clear, these summaries do contain grammar errors; however, I did not evaluate summaries based on grammatical accuracy! I evaluated them based on whether they included the relevant information and were written in the student's own words (not copied).
After reading each summary, please read my notes about what could be improved in each summary. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask in class.

Summary 1

The right foods can help you improve your physical and mental condition. It's good to keep low the total amount of fat, most of which unsaturated fat. Omega 3s are crucial for the development of brain. DHA has a big role in the improvement of intellectual performance and can be used to cure depressed people.

Teacher Comments:
Strong Points
1. Includes thesis.
2. Main Supporting Points 2 and 3 are comprehensive and (mostly) well-written.

To be improved:
1. This is a little short (4 sentences).
2. Point #1 should say something about "balance of fats" and "saturated vs. unsaturated" (though the student does include point on unsaturated being the most important).
3. Part of point 3 ("big role in....intellectual performance") is worded too closely to the original; the student could rewrite this part in his own words.


Summary 2

The healthy foods affect your brain, for example, concentration, motivation, memorization, reaction, and feeling. Notwithstanding most people don't know how fats impact their health, they fthink fats equate to unhealthy foods, so they should know two kind of fats such as "saturated" and "unsaturated" and balanced fat diet is the healthiest food. In addition, omega-3 fatty acids are essential for human brain, especially DHA which is very similar to a material in the membrances of nerve cells and related to human intelligence. Omega-3s have not only physical but also psychological effects.

Strong Points:
1. Thesis
2. Main Supporting Points 1 and 2 are comprehensive.
3. Student does a nice job of writing summary in their own words.

To be improved:
1. Main Supporting Point 3 should include information on both IQ and depression.


As I said in class, I was pleased with everyone's summary. These are just two examples from class; I just as easily could have used other student summaries as well. Please let me know if you have any questions or would like more practice.